Today, Jan. 23, 2024, I turned 57 years old.
And, if I give it great thought, perhaps my mindset is not much different than that 5-year-old boy who sat at a kitchen table in rural western Kentucky and blew out five wax candles on a cake dripping in chocolate.
I have absolutely no idea of what the future holds for me and that is both as scary and thrilling as a black spider that falls upon my bare arm and starts to inch its way upward.
There’s been plenty of living in those 50-plus years between. I’ve experienced great joy and profound sadness. My heart’s been broken and it’s also found a love like none other. There have been moments when I thought I was at the very top of the heap and a few days when this man didn’t think he could sink much lower.
It’s called living and I’ve done it.
I think of the 2008 movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” in which the main character is born an old man and proceeds to age backwards. The film is based on the short story of the same name written by F. Scott Fitzgerald and published May 1922 in Collier’s Magazine. Fitzgerald’s story challenges the idea that life would be better if we could erase its hurts.
In one scene from the movie, a tugboat captain, Mike, says, “You can be mad as a dog at the way things went, you can swear and curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.”
That sentiment took me a good while to fully understand and be willing to embrace, but I’ve done it and believe it’s made me a better person and improved my relations with others.
Another theme from the story is one of new beginnings.
“It’s never too late, or in my case, too early, to be whatever you want to be,” Benjamin says. “I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
This matter, I am knee-deep in. There are things I am proud of and a few misdeeds I’d just as soon forget.
For most of my life, I worked as a journalist. But that’s no more and now I write for others and myself. I continue to work on two novels and various short stories, but there’s no certainty as to whether the work will be completed and if others will want to read those words.
It’s a great unknown. It’s something that will keep you up at night and also kick you out of bed when a new day dawns.
Even so, I still like chocolate cake and there’s still the air within my lungs to blow out the candles and hopefully extinguish the past and light the future.
And I’m all right with that.
WRITER’S NOTE: These words were the result of a writing prompt hosted by the Charlotte Lit organization on Jan. 23, 2024. Instructor Megan Rich challenged the participants to think of birthdays and consider the two shifts — time and seasons — and how they have affected one’s birthday through the years. The one-hour Pen to Paper sessions are free and held online via Zoom most Tuesday mornings at 9:30 a.m. EST. To sign up for the session go here.
Michael Banks 360 